SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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