Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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