I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
