: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
