my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I deserve this hangover.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
