Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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