this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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