I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
