I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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