If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
