none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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