Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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