No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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