You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
