i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
