And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
