I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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