she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
