We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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