maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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