spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize