Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
