Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize