We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
