so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
