So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
