I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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