why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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