I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
