Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
