oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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