something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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