The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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