I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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