To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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