I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
