i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
