so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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