You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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