just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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