his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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