she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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