He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The air taste purple.
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