It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
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Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
