Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
