We named our party play list daddy issues
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
