Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
