I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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