hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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