She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I believe in your delicious
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
