I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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