I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize