I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
from now on my penis is your penis
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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