absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
