he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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