I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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