Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
