my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's never too late to be topless.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just forgot I was standing up.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
