why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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