a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
