idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
