i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
