Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
