drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
