Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can feel your judgement through the phone
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
